@knight_thepit

😆 #dogsoftiktok #pitbullsoftiktok #funnymoments #fyp

Eight things you no longer need when you have a Pitbull. When you get a Pitbull, you're not just getting a dog, you're getting an entire package of shit you never asked for. No. 1 an alarm clock. Except you can't set the time and the snooze button doesn't work. No. 2 A bodyguard. You'll be completely protected from balloons, cardboard boxes, suspicious decorations, and occasionally a plastic bag. No. 3 A personal audience. Every single meal you eat will now have at least two eyes watching every bite. No. 4 A weighted blanket, except it weighs 65 pounds, has elbows, and somehow lands directly on your bladder. No. 5 A doorbell. Except this one activates when a squirrel farts three houses down. Number six A gym membership, because despite being built like a damn tank, your Pitbull will randomly decide their legs no longer work. No. 7 A professional therapist. They have absolutely no idea what you're saying, but somehow they're still better listeners than most people. And number eight A best friend. An incredibly needy, dramatic, slightly unhinged best friend, but probably the best damn one you'll ever have.

😆 #pitbull #puppy #puppies #fyp #cutenessoverload

This is a Pitbull puppy. Please don't be fooled by the tiny face. You're looking at approximately six months of poor decisions, four missing socks, 17 things they weren't supposed to chew, and enough energy to power a small city. At this age, they're still learning how their bodies work. Their feet are approximately three sizes too big. Their head weighs more than the rest of them. Then there are the zoomies. No warning, no destination. Just a tiny, muscular potato doing 40 miles an hour through your living room. They haven't figured out personal coordination either. They'll trip over their own feet, fall off something that's six inches off the ground, then immediately get back up like nobody saw that shit. They also have an incredible amount of confidence for someone who was literally born five minutes ago. Everything needs investigating. Every dog needs meeting every new situation. Obviously, they're qualified to handle it. Until something completely harmless scares the shit out of them. A plastic bag, their own reflection, something moving that definitely wasn't moving five seconds ago. Suddenly, our brave little potato is requesting backup. And somehow they only have two battery settings. 100% or completely dead. They'll spend an hour terrorizing the entire household, then fall asleep halfway through whatever they were doing. Belly up, tongue out, looking like the sweetest little angel you've ever seen. As if they weren't just running a one dog criminal organization. And then they wake up fully charged, and the Bullshit begins again. But don't worry, eventually they calm down. In like 10 years. Good luck.

Allow me to introduce you to the pit bull 😂 #fyp #pitbulls #dogsoftiktok #fyp #dogsoftiktok

Allow me to introduce you to the Pitbull. A powerful, muscular animal built like it could pull a small vehicle, yet somehow completely incapable of walking past a Halloween decoration. Physically, they're quite impressive. Their heads are roughly 40% of their entire body and can be used for cuddling, opening doors, or accidentally knocking you over. Their tails are equally sophisticated. Scientists believe they're used for communication. Your coffee table believes otherwise. Pit bulls are also extremely athletic. They can sprint across the house at remarkable speeds, usually for no identifiable reason, before crashing directly into a piece of furniture. In their natural habitat, you'll often find them sunbathing, slowly roasting themselves like a Costco rotisserie chicken. And while they may appear tough emotionally, they're about as durable as a wet paper towel. Say no a little too firmly and they'll stare out the window like they're remembering the war. But perhaps the pit bull's most impressive characteristic is its ability to convince a grown adult that a 65 pound animal desperately needs to be carried. Tucked into bed, and referred to as the baby. The Pitbull. Built like a tank, treated like an infant, and somehow running the entire damn household. Magnificent.

Pit bull owners know these rules way too well 😂😅 #pitbulls #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitties #funny

The unwritten rules of owning a pit bull. Rule No. 1 if your pit bull farts and immediately leaves the room, get the hell out. Do not investigate. Do not try to tough it out. The dog who produced the chemical weapon has evacuated the premises. Take the hint. Rule No. 2 Personal space no longer exists. Taking a shit? Audience taking a shower? Security detail trying to sleep. Enjoy waking up with a giant bowling ball head six inches from your face breathing directly into your mouth. Rule No. 3 Pitbull playtime may sound dangerous. Growling, snorting teeth, body slams someone getting dragged across the living room by one leg. Relax, nobody's mad. They're having the time of their damn lives. They're simply participating in a friendly game of WWE Smackdown. Rule No. 4 never trust silence. If your pit bull has been suspiciously quiet for more than 30 seconds, go find them. Because they're either sleeping peacefully or standing in the kitchen eating an entire stick of butter. There is no in between. Rule No. 5 every pit bull is chronically exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. They'll wake up from a four hour nap, let out the most dramatic sigh you've ever heard, then go lie down because apparently that was a lot. Rule No. 6 anything you purchase automatically belongs to them. New blanket, theirs, new couch, there's king size bed. Somehow they're sleeping horizontally across the entire damn thing while you're hanging off the edge like A fitted sheet. And the final rule. At some point, the toxic gas, bathroom supervision, WWE matches, dramatic sighing and complete invasion of privacy just becomes normal. And somehow you look at this ridiculous little meatball and think, yeah, I should probably get another one.

#pitbulls #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitbullsoftiktok

Every Pitbull comes equipped with the exact same components, regardless of size, age, or color. First you have the oversized block head primarily used for demanding attention, resting directly on your body and occasionally head butting you with absolutely no warning. Attached to that are two highly expressive ears. They can sit normally, but usually prefer one up, one down, both sideways or whatever this is. Up front you'll find the industrial strength snout designed to locate unattended snacks from approximately three rooms away. Just below that is the MLM dispenser. It activates randomly and sometimes remains deployed for extended periods of time moving down. Every model comes standard with a barrel chest, a surprisingly tiny waist, and four paws that somehow feel like cinder blocks when they step directly on your organs. In the rear you'll find the high speed tail attachment capable of clearing coffee tables, bruising human legs, and reaching helicopter speeds when their favorite person comes home. And finally, despite the intimidating exterior, every Pitbull is powered by the exact same internal system approximately 10% muscle, 20% snacks, and 70% desperate need to be touching you at all times. Some components may vary slightly by model, but the factory settings exactly the same.

😆 #pitbulls #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitties #dogs

10 ways to tell if you have a Pitbull. No. 1 personal space no longer exists. If you sit down, they sit down, usually directly on top of you. Number two they have absolutely no poker face. Annoyed? You'll know. Hungry? You'll know. You stop petting them for three seconds, you will definitely know. Number three they somehow weigh 60 pounds until you try to move them. Then suddenly you're attempting to relocate a small refrigerator. Number four every comfortable surface in your house belongs to them. Your bed, your couch, your blankets. You're basically just paying the mortgage. No. 5 they're built like professional athletes, but act like they've suffered a devastating injury when it starts raining. No. 6 their tail should legally require a warning label. Coffee tables, drinks, knees. Nothing is safe. Number seven they communicate primarily through size side eyes, a woos, and grunts. No. 8 going to the bathroom alone is now considered suspicious behavior. No. 9 they can hear a snack wrapper open from three rooms away, but somehow can't hear you saying come inside. And No. 10. Underneath the giant head, dramatic personality, and complete disregard for boundaries is a dog who genuinely believes the greatest place in the entire world is wherever you are. So if all 10 sounded familiar, congratulations. You don't own a pit bull, your pit bull owns you.

😆 #funny #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitbulls #dogs

Part 2 😆 #dogs #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitbulls #funnydogs

Things our humans do that make absolutely no sense to us. They get excited when we poop outside. Like, really excited. Good girl. But when they go to the bathroom and I follow them, and to celebrate, suddenly I'm invading their privacy. They tell us, no barking. But when someone knocks on the door, suddenly it's, who is it? I don't know. That's why I was barking. They open their front door and say, stay. Um, you're leaving. That's literally when I need to follow you the most. They tell us, don't beg while they're eating, but the second we have something in our mouth, it's, what do you have? Drop it. Let me see. Boundaries apparently only work one way. They say, wanna go for a ride, get us all excited, put us in the car, and then drive us to the vet. That's not a ride. That's kidnapping. They ask us, what do you want? Well, we're standing directly next to the treat cabinet, staring at the treat cabinet and then back at them. I don't know how I can make this any clearer. Use your context clues, human.

Pit bull factory settings 😆 #dogs #pitbulls #funny #dogsoftiktok #fyp

Every Pitbull comes pre installed with the exact same factory settings. Setting No. 1 Velcro mode wherever you go, they go. Bathroom included. Privacy was not included in this model. Setting No. 2 starvation mode this activates approximately four minutes after they just ate. Setting No. 3 security mode suspicious noise outside. Immediate investigation. Plastic bag moves unexpectedly. Abort mission. Setting number four power saving mode. Your Pitbull will sleep approximately 19 hours a day, specifically in the most inconvenient location possible. Setting number five system malfunction, zoomies, grass wiggles, random awoos, absolutely no explanation. And finally, lap dog mode. This setting cannot be disabled. Your Pitbull may weigh 70 pounds, but according to factory specifications, they are just a baby.

#puppy #pitbullpuppy #dogsoftiktok #fyp

Congratulations, you got a Pitbull puppy. You have made a terrible financial decision and possibly the best decision of your life. Here are five things nobody warned you about. Number one, privacy is over. Bathroom, supervised shower, supervised taking a shit. Team activity. No. 2. Everything goes in their mouth. Toys, socks, sticks, your hand, something they found outside that you absolutely do not want identified. No. 3, they come with two energy settings. Unconscious and wanted in seven states. No.4. Don't waste money on expensive toys. Their favorite toy will be the cardboard box it came in or some random piece of trash. And No. 5. That tiny little puppy. Yeah. Enjoy carrying them while you can because pretty soon you'll have a 65 pound house hippo convinced they're still a lap dog. Still want one? Yeah, me too.

😆 #dogs #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitbulls #funny

#ad Day in the life of a stay at home dog… except today, I caught a flight ✈️🐾 Thanks @JSX + @Petco for an unforgettable adventure! ❤️ #FlyJSX #JSXJetaway #Petco #PadresPets

Day in the life of a stay at home dog. Except today I'm catching a flight to the backyard at Petco Park with J S X. And Petco. First I had to get ready. A quick spa treatment, a pedicure, and of course, my traveling shoes. Then we headed to J S X. We arrived 20 minutes before departure, which was perfect because I do not believe in unnecessary waiting. The people there gave me accessories, Petco treats, and plenty of attention. Naturally, I paid them back in kisses. Then it was time to board. I walked off of the plane like a very important businessman, climbed the stairs, found a comfy spot, and slept through basically the entire flight. When I woke up, we were in San Diego. Next stop, Petco Park. I had my own suite in the Petco backyard, the best view of the game, and plenty of snacks. Honestly, after this MVP treatment, the Padres might need to put me on the roster. After a very long day of traveling and being famous, I returned to the hotel and went straight to bed. Being a stay at home dog is exhausting.

5 things you need to know before getting a pit bull puppy 😆🐶 #pitbulls #puppy #puppytiktok #fyp

Five things you need to know before you get a Pitbull puppy. And no, they're cute. Is not adequate preparation. Number one, they're basically tiny wrecking balls. They don't enter a room, they launch into it. Your couch, parkour. Your coffee table. Parkour. Your body peacefully existing on the couch, also parkour. Number two. Personal space is over. That little puppy sleeping peacefully in their own bed. Enjoy it, because pretty soon, you're gonna wake up with 60 pounds of Pitbull directly on your chest, breathing into your mouth. Number three, they are always hungry. You could feed them a full meal, and 14 seconds later, they're staring at you like, damn. So we just don't eat anymore? No.4. They will destroy something you love. Shoes, pillows, a remote, maybe one very specific corner of your wall. And somehow they're offended when you find it, like you did something wrong. And number five, this is the one nobody warns you about. You're gonna fall ridiculously in love with them, because underneath the giant head, zero boundaries, dramatic sighing, and occasional acts of domestic terrorism, is the sweetest little Velcro hippo you've ever met. So, yeah, get the Pitbull puppy. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

Are you actually a pittie? 😆 #pitbulls #cute #dogsoftiktok #fyp

I really thought at least two of them would pass 😭😅 #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitbull #dogs #doglover

Would you watch this for a second? I'll be right back. What are you doing? Would you watch this for a second? I'll be right back. Ой ой не надо будет boy would you watch this for a second I'll be right back 뽀뽀 뽀뽀 뽀뽀 뽀뽀

WE HAVE A STORE NOW 😍 Pittie Pack is officially live!! And apparently the first 100 orders get a free Daba Resting Pit Face sticker 😂 because obviously every purchase should come with a little judgment shop here ➡️ shop.Pittiepack.com #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitties #doglovers #pitbull

Um, excuse me. I have an announcement. Apparently, we have a store now, which makes sense, because being adorable is exhausting, and somebody should really be profiting from it. It's called Pity Pack for Pitbulls. the people who have accepted that personal space is no longer a thing, we've got shirts, hoodies, hats, bags for carrying our treats and emotional support snacks and stickers. Because obviously, everything you own needs more Pitbull representation. There's even a shirt that says, you can't tell me what to do. You're not my Pitbull. Which is true. Only I can tell mom what to do. And one of the best parts, a portion of proceeds supports organizations helping improve the lives of Pitbulls. So while you're buying cute stuff, you're helping pitties, too. Very noble, very generous. Very me. Oh, and apparently the first 100 orders gets a free double resting pit face sticker, because nothing says thank you for your purchase like being judged by my sister. Anyway, the shop's live. Go tell your human.

😆 #dogs #pitbulls #dogsoftiktok #fyp #funnytiktok

How to survive living with a Pitbull. Rule No. 1 always watch where you're walking. Pit bulls have an incredible ability to appear directly underneath your feet without warning. One second the hallway is clear, the next there's a 60 pound speed bump. Rule No. 2 learn to protect your drink. One excited tail can clear an entire coffee table in approximately three seconds. Phones, cups, remotes. Nothing is safe. Rule No. 3 never underestimate their persistence. If a Pitbull wants your attention, ignoring them will not make the problem go away. They will escalate. First comes the stare, then the paw, then the nose nudge, and eventually you're negotiating with a dog in your own damn house. Rule No. 4 become comfortable being judged. Pit bulls have mastered a facial expression that makes it seem like every decision you've ever made has disappointed them personally. Don't take it personally. They judge everyone. And finally, learn to laugh because at some point your Pitbull is going to fart, scare themselves, fall off the couch, get back up like nothing happened, and immediately look at you like somehow this was your fault. Follow these simple rules and you should successfully survive living with a Pitbull. Your dignity, however, cannot be guaranteed.

😆 #pitbulls #pitbullsoftiktok #fyp #lol #dogs

Five reasons you should never get a pit bull #dogs #dogsoftiktok #pitbulls #lol #fyp

Five reasons you should never get a pit bull. It has been scientifically proven that owning a pit bull can come with some pretty serious side effects. Number one excessive baby talk. Perfectly normal adults have reported suddenly saying things like who's my little baby? To a 65 pound dog with the chest of a grown man. There is currently no cure. No. 2 loss of storage space. Your phone will slowly become unusable due to approximately 37,000 pictures of the same dog in the same position taken five seconds apart. And yes, you need every single one. Number three reckless spending. You will walk into a store needing absolutely nothing and leave with a new toy, a ridiculous outfit, and a 40 dollar bed. For someone who already has six, financial recovery is unlikely. Number four severe separation issues. And I'm talking about you. You'll leave the house, check the camera 17 times, wonder what they're doing, and somehow start missing them before you've even left the neighborhood. And No. 5 Pitbull multiplication. It usually begins with one, then somehow there's another, then another, until one day you look around and realize your entire house has been taken over by blockheads. Unfortunately, this final side effect appears to be permanent, because once you fall in love with one pit bull, there's a pretty damn good chance you're gonna want another.

😆 #dogsoftiktok #fyp #pitbull #doglovers #cuteness

Pitbulls have a very specific way of doing pretty much everything. They don't just get excited, they lose complete control of the back half of their body. They don't ask for attention, they demand it. A paw, a nose, nudge, a grumble. And if that doesn't work, they'll just stare at you until you remember your actual purpose in life. They're also incredibly nosy. Open a drawer. They need to know why. Bring something new into the house. Immediate inspection. Have a private conversation. Not anymore. They already know all the tea. Then there's the sleeping positions. Upside down, head hanging completely off the couch looking like they've been assembled incorrectly. Honestly, pit bulls don't do anything halfway. They love hard, play hard, judge harder, and somehow manage to make every single day a little more ridiculous. Which is probably exactly why people become so obsessed with them.